top of page
Search
Writer's pictureConnor McDowell

Trudeau ends protests in Ottawa by inflating the Canadian dollar (SATIRE)

Connor McDowell


OTTAWA - In a struggle to push protesters out of Ottawa, Trudeau announced the Inflation Initiative.


This act will require financial institutions to get involved in the tense standoff between Prime Minister Trudeau and his country.


The two institutions that Trudeau called upon are the Royal Canadian Mint and the Bank of Canada.


Under Trudeau's decree the Royal Canadian Mint will print money at full speed while the Bank of Canada injects all money reserves into the economy.

The move is expected to drop the Canadian dollar to $0.12.





"This is a time-limited, geographically targeted attack" said Trudeau.


He said that this is the last option to peacefully end protests in Ottawa.


"This is not a first resort or a second resort" he said. "One has to be very careful before creating a financial crisis."

He then presented the detailed plan to the House.



Trudeau agreed that the pandemic sucked for all Canadians but that he must take a stand to protect the businesses of downtown Ottawa which he says have been unfairly treated.


"In many cases they are trying to sell food, but there's a group of protesters just down the street handing out hotdogs for free" he said. "Let me be very clear: the time to turn off the barbeques is now."






Comentários


bottom of page